28042012
SATURDAY
02:57
STREET 81
3 YEARS ON.
people always say time heals all wounds. i guess it's either crap, or i haven't had enough time yet.
it's been three years and five months since we last talked. everything in both our lives has changed. we're both in different polytechnics and working different jobs. we both grew up, it seemed.
so I told myself that i'm completely over you, that nothing you would ever do or say affect me. that you were a stranger and you were bad for my life. i chanted that util i believed it. or at least i thought i did.
Guess what? when i saw you again; when you said hello and smiled, my heart hurt. because i stopped guarding my heart, it pained in reflex to you. In fact, it still hurts so much right now i can still feel it. after fooling myself for so long, you just tore down those walls today without even trying.
those old songs still bring tears to my eyes: the songs we listened to together and the songs i listened to when we broke up. i still feel so raw and helpless.
i figure three years just wasn't enough for me.
i guess after this, i will keep telling myself the same old lie, and bury my feelings again. i guess i just cross my fingers and hope you don't appear when i'm unguarded again.i guess i'll just listen to those songs alone to heal again.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
SATURDAY
14042012
00:17
STREET 81
SOLO.
I finally opened a Facebook page for my photography, after a long resistance. Well, the Bukit Brown pictures and to go somewhere, and i didn't want them on my personal page. Decided from now on I will keep a simple set of 12 photos from each shoot i do to build a "Facebook Portfolio". it's a new chapter in photography, and i hope to connect better with my clients and models alike.
This blog has come a log way since it started as a simple page by a naive, young girl. from now on, i''ll use to for small updates, ad my writing. Where else would i put the silly things inside my head?
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She lit a cigarette, and drew in a big breath of bittersweet smoke. Slowly, lips pursed, she blew out delicate smoke rings and watched them slowly fade. She felt giddy, but at least she felt the stress rolling off her shoulders.
she couldn't remember the last time she had a cigarette. Heck, she couldn't even remember ever being this relaxed after high school. she lay down onto the park bench, and kicked off her heels from her pinched, sore feet. the sun was still struggling to stay up in the sky, but the air already held a coldness. six in the evening was a quiet time at the park, but soon it would be swamped by joggers and families looking for an evening stroll.
Nevertheless, she relished the personal moment, and lay there just enjoying the only cigarette she had. it wasn't smoking itself that was serene, it was the simple, happy memories that flooded back that was the most soothing. she knew that it wasn't good for her body - all the health risks, bad breath, yellow teeth, the expense - but it didn't matter there and then.
All she wanted to be was calm and happy on that welcoming park bench.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
