24042010
SUNDAY
16:53
STREET 81
BITTERSWEET.
the countdown clock is reset. yes,i'm missing the furry being of the house. and her smell changed too. last time i saw her it was a month ago. so sad.
亲爱的婆婆，生日快乐。
您有老了一岁。我和你在一起的时间突然那么的宝贵。
我曾经答应自己，要好好喝你学祝你的“好料”。一年这样就过了，我的却学了不少，但婆婆，你住的才那么丰富又有水准，我怕我煮不起。我怕我会是水准，我怕我会记不起，也怕永远永远学不完。婆婆，他们说，人老了要享清福，但您为了我们孙子而怒，烦躁，很抱歉。您还要天天看好我们，免得我们又惹麻烦，您辛苦了。从现在开始我要更努力的学好手艺，不会让你的心系失传的。
婆婆，我爱你。
冯秀颖上。
wrote atribute to her two months ago, feel that i should do one about my mom and her two sisters.
someone recently told me my family is stuck in a time warp, with three completely contrasting generations managing somehow to accept and stay together.
i should really do that essay. the idea sounds more enticing over time, like roast pork over a fire.
for now enjoy this little snippet of chinese.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
24042010
SATURDAY
15:02
IN CONCLUSION.
just watched a video on youtube called MP3 EXPERIMENT. the idea was to ask 200 over people to download and listen to a prerecorded mix of voice and music and press the play button of their MP3 at exactly the same time, eg 4PM.
the results are incredible. everyone cooperated and followed the instructions on the tape, and it was awesome to watch all those people listening to that "steve" via their own ways.
it made me think, that christians are like that too. we listen to God who tells us to do things whenever He tells us to. if there are people trusting an MP3 which they dont even know the person next to them is listening or not, maybe we need to trust God more.
only then can we seamlessly work together.
fave song replaying in my head now is starry eyed, think i'm going crazy real soon. been pumping alot of effort into my results lately, but i'm thinking i have to wait a while to see the results.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
18042010
SUNDAY
16:34
STREET 81
IN CHRIST ALONE.
In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone
little chorus with so much meaning.
i've realised i have been screaming bloody murder about my back and shoulder this whole term, and it just hasnt been going well. i dont know whether to go to school happy or depressed every day.
let's just say i try to be happy.
new lyrics, song's called ACHES AND PAINS
*ok the song name sounds like some pain remover advert. i know.*
when we think about the past
do we ache
do we cry
do we steel our hearts
when we look at old pictures
do we lie in the dark
and think how time used to be
ive got a cure
i know it for sure
that it will heal the pain
and He is the answer
He is the healer
The light to your dreams
He is the end to all unhappy things
and He is Jesus
Jesus
have we stopped
to think that
we dont have to be alone
he wont let us go
he know the road
ive got a cure
i know it for sure
that it will heal the pain
and He is the answer
He is the healer
The light to your dreams
He is the end to all unhappy things
and He is Jesus
Jesus
comments and suggestions in the SIDEBAR. thanks (:
these pictures i have today are not from deviant art, but flickr. yahoo's editors have selected a repetior of the finest of Iceland's eruption, and this i find is the best. to find more of these pictures, just go Yahoo Flickr and search. just know that the photos are all copyrighted.
o here it is.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
09042010
FRIDAY
10:34
STREET 81
BIG WHOOP.
I'm really bothered today, not because i took today off to get my life in order, but i took time off to actually notice how bad things are getting.
first up: stress
okay... its causing relationships in our class to choke and die. kinda like a plant slowly strangled by the weeds around it. so, things are blowing out into a full-scale cold war, either side is "amassing" its popularity levels and frantically forcing people to take sides. it's a subtle, dangerous game; a 50-calibre rifle Russian roulette, one that will cleanly blow off your upper torso.
*shudders*
but i guess a little of it did help me to perform better, and i will have to learn to stay out of no man's land.
second: forgiveness
u know, this week, the charisma lesson was on FORGIVENESS. it was kind of a shock to me: i think i may have needed it. okay, the list of people i need to ask for forgiveness (u may not have done anything to me, but i think i held a grudge to something. even i cant remember. I'm petty, i know...):
IVAN LOW AND XIAN WEI
sorry big guys. i know I'm dumb. the chair incident, i will stop bringing it up, i was a bully then too. peace?
MON HSIEN
buddy, where the hell are you! OK. I'm gonna have to accept that there are passing friendships in life. yup.
DEBORAH
i know, i never really minded. but today i realised i grumble alot about it, and people get the idea that i really minded. sorry.
SHIRLEY n EU GIN
sorry ma and pa, that i really gave u guys alot of problems. i cant say I'm problem free now, but u are the two most caring people in my life other than family. or probably dearer than family. oh and Eu gin, u are a great Lao pa :)
STELLA, MELVIN n ERNEST
i realised i never actually admitted my faults when i was clearly wrong. and i dragged u guys into a lot of shit with me. and i even left u guys alone sometimes, even though it was my mess most of the time. i have to say I'm sorry, really sorry and i will look at my self better in the future.
THE LIST IS REALLY LONG, BUT THESE ARE JUST WHAT HAS BEEN BUGGING AT MY HEART FOR A LONG TIME.
but i've got a more stupid sense of loss.
you know, i never knew looking at NCC pictures could cause your heart and head to hurt.
when i see the pictures, i look at two things: what's missing, and what's there.
i see hengkang and martin gone, as seemingly easily erased from memmory by six months. the pictures reflect no more of there impressions.
i see wei sheng, and think i'm really sorry i hurt you buddy. you are my greatest pal.
i see ivan and qien, and xiao kia. i think that at the end of the day, pictures DO lie.
i dont know which picture to believe anymore, becuase the one in my mind's eye is gone. i tried to recall HK today, and i got blank space.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
08042010
THURSDAY
06:45
BUS 15
FOREVER YOUNG
PM Lee probably got his idea from listening to Mr Hudson and Jay-z. This collaboration is an interesting one, because Mr Hudson's sing-song voice and Jay-z's deep, heavy voice contrast nicely.
However its lyrics really hit the nail when it comes to meaning. the first stanza talks about the need to feel young in material things: all the cold champagne and girls. it talks about being young the rich way, how to have all you want and do anything you like as much as you want to.
second stanza talks about the way we try to stay young, in our minds or physically. we tell ourselves we're still young and we push our own physical limits in medicine...
why do people obsess about being young. there is a sage that with age comes wisdom. sure, you can so so much more things when you're young, but you'll miss out on that wisdom and relationships with others.
the third stanza talks about the Hollywood version of young, the driving fast cars and playing around with women. it talks about the ability to show off and live the Good life that makes you young.
if that is really important to most people chasing after the Hollywood dream, there will be an exclusion of old people and the programmes that pride to them.
think about it. one day you too will grow old and there will still be others younger than you. your definition of young, what's cool and hip, to the younger generation will be different, and you too will be caught in the vicious cycle.
that's why the song says whether it is better to be forever young or to live forever but not be young.
in my opinion, i feel that it's easier to be forever young, than to live forever. if you live forever, but age, it will only bring the aliments of old with you. to be forever young, however does not necessarily mean you will stay young mentally.
like changelings. they stay forever as children until they find a suitable replacement according to the time, and although they look forever young, they in fact are "a hundred over years of pain in the mind."
my suggestion: stop messing with nature and let yourself age beautifully.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
03042010
SATURDAY
12:06
STREET 81
ONLY EXCEPTION.
okay, discussion on the Paramore song: THE ONLY EXCEPTION. HK is in italics, and i'm in normal font.
it's about a girl who thinks she's found love but afraid to accept it, right?
i think its more about afraid to love the guy back because of her childhood experiences...
but it also says of her other experiences with other guys, so its not that she doesn't believe in love, it's just that she's been hurt too much to trust.
it doesn't center on the trust, but on the fact that the guy lets her rely completely on him, so much that she can even disregard all the bad experiences from her childhood or her previous dates.
about the music video, why does it show her putting make-up and a nice dress? i understand the part about the church but...
hmmm, maybe the make-up and dress is to cover up who she actually is; make-up and dresses appeal to girls probably because they beautify and promote the person wearing them. so it could be that she tries hard to up her self-esteem with them, you got to admit she's beautiful in them.
OK, maybe that's the point, but it doesn't blend in with the theme of love?
sure it does, good self esteem = positive attitude = dare to find love or probably find someone who will think the same about you as you think.
that's true...
okay, that's just a part of the convo, not gonna put all of it up, because it'll take up the whole post.
just thinking, it could be that guys and girls see things so differently, that different parts of the song or the music video appeal to the genders respectively. like how HK may not understand the make-up and the clothes, i didn't understand why her dad did what he did in the movie, or why she had to hide the photo from her dad.
if we all view love so differently, the to find someone who views love even remotely similar is difficult.
that's something to consider.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
02042010
FRIDAY
09:06
KALLANG MRT
STOP GUESSING.
okay, people, it's good Friday!
i've used an exclamation point today, because i'm excited! DUH, but party party party@ Joel's house!
i've invited minyi and barney, and have been praying for the whole week that they can come... SO GOD, may there be a breakthrough! also super duper early for the meeting point at kallang, i though it was 9am, and that i was going to be late. so here i am, crazy early.
i couldn't sleep last night too, partly because today i'm gonna have to tell my cell group about Wei Sheng. i'm still confused, and Adel has ordered me not to talk to anyone about it. Just as well, i've been trying to avoid the guy from Wednesday...
some enlightened person once said all animals have feelings. Humans are the only species that are able to hide theirs so well, even their own species cant read them. man, isn't that so true, that i couldn't see if he hadn't told me.
to all you snickering people out there, OF COURSE A GIRL IS FLATTERED WHEN A BOY ASKS HER! that is brainless, and in case you're from Pluto, of course i didn't know what to say. it doesn't mean i said yes, but i confess, that actually he is quite good boyfriend material. i just think it's a bit fast, less than six months after Daryl, and this happens.
but leave all speculations to the final Revelation, probably in a months time. and that's quite long to consider i guess. but i'm sure whatever happens, there's God, my cellies, and my great family. i really love you guys *muacks*
NOW AT JOEL'S HOUSE! he has a cute dog called Vivian!
led me to think about Chrystal, and that i haven't seen her in almost two months... i used to think that like one week would be horrible, now i know that one two months is even worse. my clothes have lost her smell after washing, and i think the smell on my blanket and bed is getting erased too. po i using her old water dish as a flower pot. to think that she is slowly fading is a scary thought, now that she is already so old. thirteen for a dog is like ninety years old.
achey achey feelings, and scary thoughts. maybe i should relook the mood of the day.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
