26122011
MONDAY
02:08
STREET 81
BLINDED.
This Christmas i spent a lot of time catching up on people's lives. seeing people hitch up, break up, grow up, screw up just reminds me that we all don't really know what's going on - we're trying our darnedest best to to be a better person, while having some fun. some things just happen beyond our wildest dreams, and other fall apart the harder we try to hold on to them. we all shouldn't try to hard, really, and just live the moment.
Christmas this year was actually quite meaningful, and I still am in denial that the most crazy, awesome and fulfilling year of my life (so far) is ending. This year i did so many fearless things, felt like a celebrity, gained recognition for my work, made crazy bucks, screwed things up.
I had so much fun being myself, and finally seeing my work getting some limelight in the local scene. next step: get bigger, better and go viral. the greatest feeling is to know what it feels like to have your name be worth something, to be a unique style in demand.
but this Christmas, is somewhat special too. it meant more than I thought it would. This year's Christmas had no tree, no presents under it, but was filled with the joy of friends. Family not so much, very little compared to past years. but it meant that Christmas was busier and somehow a little more rushed too. it was over too fast and I still don't have that jolly holiday feel yet. well, I guess it's a little to late now.
i also realized that most of my posts are at insane timings when I'm insomniac, so I over-think and write these emotional reflections. one resolution is to write these during the day, and see how different this blog becomes.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
this is a twitter feed version of some of the posts in my blog. they are 140 characters long, with time and date. wild idea, but seemed a good way to say things i have no idea how to write.
let us begin with January:
do not think you are weak, you are braver than you think.
we are not the gods. we do not have all the answers.
just remember, God makes no mistakes, it'll be okay in the end.
but nothing can change until my degree. which i will get.
if what I'm saying is senseless today, forgive me.
what we came out with surprised even us.
i was thinking !7 - God be the Glory. but i think it's too cheesy. hmm.
in the cosmic humor that surrounds us, we raise amazing people, make things better, touch people in amazing ways but don’t know, or see.
oh, and let's get rich people.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
20122011
TUESDAY
20:45
STREET 81
CHRISTMAS.
OKAY I LOST MY WHITE OLYMPUS EPL-1. CAMERA SERIAL NO: B3U521387
I'M REALLY DESPERATE. this camera has taken all the pictures you see here and many more. it has even help me survive professional shoots when i run out of battery or ideas.
help me look out for it, i lost it on 4 December so any photograph after that (or not as awesome as mine) is from the new owner! will upload all my photos slowly (since i have no new ones, and no compact flash cards for my new camera) so any photograph on this page is mine too (DUH).
it's five days to Christmas, and frankly, I don't have that high, warm, fuzzy feeling for Christmas.
this year's Christmas feels rushed, overworked, and meaningless. Sure, it has great meaning to me, being the birth of the saviour, but this year it seems empty. Besides, Good Friday and Easter should have a bigger reaction than Christmas, because in His death we have life.
it's also 11 days to new year. thinking back, there were really many awesome things this past year, and even more great people i spent it with. truth be told, i did not even imagine i would do some of the things i've done as part of my job, and in all seriousness i thank everyone who has helped me and taught me wise things on this journey. or if you screwed up with me and had fun, it's all right too. i have no special goals for next year, just for it to surprise me and for me to be a better person in Christ than last year.
may this year and the next bring you joy and may you and your family experience happiness, good health and peace. Because in the end it's all that matters.
for a trip down memory lane:
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
121211
MONDAY
22:51
STREET 81
UNNOTICED.
t's been a long time since i skated. went on Friday with sis, and it started drizzling halfway through. since running in the rain is no big deal, skating shouldn't be too.
Lo and behold i fell sick today. couldn't even get up from my bed in the morning to eat meds. so i missed a tribe meeting, service and had the most unproductive day of the year. just studied on my bed and felt miserable the whole day.
next time i know better - take flu medication and sleep so i still can function.
well taking medication means i can't donate blood for three weeks, so i can't donate this year. this sucks horribly too. was planning to give a second time before year end but no. :(
was looking through some submissions to groups in DA, and nothing really caught my eye. Suddenly my brain decides to be a jerk and asks me: "If all these people are famous/have widely viewed photos/ self-portraits that have tons of favourites, then WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG?"true, true, i spend so much time and effort snapping, editing and selecting pictures i think are stellar for the world, and the worlds goes and enjoys some picture of a girl with a compact camera aimed at her make-up laden face. why? why does art or hard work get taken for granted? impromptu, amateurish attention seeking girls with a phone camera can claim they are photographers and people actually support them instead. sheesh.
okay rant over. just that this holiday hasn't been up to expectation really.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
