30032010
TUESDAY
19:19
STREET 81
SCREWED. CHEERS.
THE SHAN AND ROS SHOW IS FALLING APART. REASON: THEY'VE GOT RIS LOW.
listening in all the way from 4 just now. finally ris was on time, and ros was really controlled and patroninsing. then at 6pm, ris suddenly says goodbye. without a warning. that girl is really the limits. the conversation afterward:
SHAN:its really unexpected... and Ros just went down to find our boss and...
ROS:yeah, usually i dont do this, cos its really unprofessional... but i found our boss and i asked her what was going on... apparently it was in her contract, but we were not informed.
more heated talking. two songs on:
SHAN:ok ros, we're still on radio...
ROS: (cuts off shan.) i'm sorry i'm emotional, but i'm an emotional person, and it will affect my show. so i'll rather not do the show, and i'm just gonna take a few days off, or until they remove ris from the show... i'm sorry, so i'm just gonna go now... starts packing bag
SHAN:now? like now? but...
ROS: (distant) i'm going, shan you want to come? bye people... um, see you... noise then silence.
SHAN:erm, i'm gonna play a song for a minute, and its snow patrol...
song comes on. then traffic update:
music. music, music, music, music. then:
SHAN: (mumbles the update.) ok, this is my last traffic update, next song is by colbie calliat... sorry for being late with the update.
song clicks on.
SOMEHOW THIS HAS RUINED MY DAY TOO.
MAN, THIS FEELING SUCKS.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
29032010
MONDAY
17:44
MACS @ PARKWAY
PAID IN FULL.
ok, i've been fawning over it the whole day.
the thing i'm so happy about is, that i found something so near to Mon Hsien's lion! i'm hoping to send one to hengkang, so that it'll help pacify him for awhile. he really is getting worried for his friend.
i wish Mon Hsien would just try to contact us, or at least try to tell us through all the emails we sent him what the heck is going on with him. i'm just as fustrated and irritated as hengkang on not being able to reach the guy. i'm guessing Zuo Lun has given up nearly all hope, but that's because he doesnt believe in long-lasting buddies. you could say life has given him alot of evidence to believe that.
i'm really running on low tolerence level with belinda, and sometimes i just do to her the things she does to me on a regular basis. next step: i'm going to start ignoring her, and then talk to ivan and everyone else around.
let's see, shall we?
ivan came on time today! well in time for every lesson but history! the talking has worked! finally he has decided to be seroius with his life! PTL!
yes people i'm crapping alot lately... but i think i'll try to be more focuesed in the next post.
or maybe i'll just repeat all the crap :))
yeah but recently i have decided to pay more attention to my chinese, and i hope that it'll pay off.
so summary: 3 things.
1) I'VE GOTTEN THE DESIRED OUTCOME ON IVAN.
2) I CANT TAKE BELINDA ANY LONGER.
3) I'VE DECIDED TO PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO CHINESE.
THANK YOU.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
26032010
FRIDAY
14:11
BUS :)
on the bus to clementi now, going to the autistic children's society to do my CIP with the class. this is gonna occupy my time until 530, then i'll cab back with Mrs long to school. meeting Adeline shortly afterwards, so that i can put in two more hours into exercising my faith in Jesus.
huimin has been speculating about the guy i wrote about on facebook, and i have fervently denied all wrong guesses. i think all that thinking about my statement has just made her more curious about who that guy is, but sorry, i'm not giving any loopholes.
she has also told huishan and the rest. its fine to start guessing, but its not ok to have perceptions my dear.
and i hope the publicity will help that idiot wake up his stupid idea.
the bus passed by the unfinished marina hotels, and now i'm seeing pinnacle @ duxton. i've realised that all my heart, my memories, my most precious moments were all here, in Singapore, no matter how much the people that mean to me have gone elsewhere.
its a morbid fascination, a link so delicate it has to be broken to be more precious. the gift of leaving the place you depend on to grow your character.
it was the same with Changi Village and Yishun, it will be the same soon with Tampines, Chung Cheng and finally Singapore. i have to go somewhere, to detach myself, so that the memories i have with that place will be forced to reviewed in time. and i know that through that i will be able to grow.
mom is still in denial that i will leave Singapore eventually on my own. i have shocked her first with kellong, and then again with the short dive trip to Thailand. i meant to go much further, like the great barrier reef in Australia, but i didn't have the time and the money.
gosh i can hear huimin over the loudest my headphones can go. i'm seriously considering blasting my music to let her know how i feel. but she's just
somebody help her.
and while you're at it, give me two aspirin. quickly.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
25032010
THURSDAY
14:04
4EP NEST
BLAH BLAH *AHEM*
listening in to kiesha's blah blah blah right now, the class's in a mess.
politics flying and there's just more tension under smiles. its become something apologies wont cure anymore, but and the green-eyed monster is just having more puppets to play with.
green-eyed monster. i think its so simple too. maybe a shape-shifter, the sandmand and the green globlin in one big swoop of a chemical imbalance.
i pity people who have nothing better to do than to actively fight for their status in the level. please, its just a status, and bitching about you is not gonna make me any better than you are. i'll just become as low as you are right now.
ivan's finally in school, so i brought marshmallows as promised. (anyway the marshmallows were evolving in the fridge.) tmr i've got another prayer shedule at eight, but my school ends clementi at 5.30. what to do, people. the world is full of commitments made to secure the heart, to soothe it from the pain of being free.
sorry, i was carried away being sacarstic.
the playlists now at starstrukk. these two songs have me thinking, if boys can see girls as sexual playthings, why cant girls? i mean blah blah blah talks about how guys are so much debated about too. starstrukk is also about no commitment.
Hmmmm.... no commitment. that's interesting. i wonder if i can actually not commit.
but it would seem as if i was not putting any effort to mantain anything, orleaving it tofate's warth.
maybe the conversation of non-commitance would go like this:
you got a minute?
i dont know if its a minute... cant say...
can i talk to you for a while?
i dont guarantee i will be listening....
i havent got the time...
OK THEY NOW SOUND LIKE EXCUSES.
so maybe not commiting is an excuse.
but then again, i've got nothing to gain right?
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
22032010
MONDAY
20:53
SHE CANT CRY ANYMORE.
it's true. i cant cry anymore. i may feel sad, but those salty, bitter tears wont ever appear on my face anymore.
i've got what mom has: dysfunctional tear ducts. Uncle Doctor told me that i'll he little control over my tear ducts, so i'll probably have alot of tearing,or totally dry eyes. and that there's no cure. i'll probably never be able to cry again, not at a touching moment, not at someone's funeral. never.
i've been avoiding this blog over the few days, since the news. i look over all my old posts, and i see my sad times, the times when i just started in sec1, the times hengkang and everyone was falling out, the time when 3ep came into being by one of God's plans. i look at the sad times, the happy ones, and i feel like crying, so much like crying. in my heart iwas screaming hell, i was choking up, but my eyes juat remained dry. the most painful feeling was burning my eyes, but i couldnt let go of a single tear.
totally dried up.
forever.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
15032010
MONDAY
10:15
MRT TO SIMEI
MENTAL SUICIDE
teachers today naturally assume that we forget everything if they dont give us a single homework each day we are not in school. one teacher gives five sets for the school holidays, and times eight teachers, i've got more than i can manage.
come on, every teacher also proclaims their subject the centre of the universe, and expect us to finish theirs first. i really pity those who have tuition; they are gonna have no time left in the week for anything they want to do, anywhere they want to go.
but no offence, just my thoughts :)
meeting up with the cell and friends this week to take the load off my shoulders, and the tribe run's coming up.
i'm going to practice harder for the tribe run on the 27.
hey ! happy birthday! hope the movie and lunch will be a nice birthday gift! so here's your shout out too!
internship presentation meeting is later at 1200hr, so i've got to rush back to CCHMS or minyi will kill me.
but hey, at least i'm free now right?
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
14032010
SUNDAY
13:20
BUS 12
PLAYING WITH FIRE
listening to lyrics of playing with fire, and i find that the guy is just biding his time.
maybe men are built to have weak resistance to the signals of women. and women who send those should have more restrain? i dont know whose fault is it when the one you love cheats, but i know that the events leading to it sure have a bigger role than you ever imagined.
maybe you think that at a party, two vodkas wont do anything, but it really does things you cant imagine. not that you meant to do it, but sometimes we dont think before we do things.
when you drink, the alcoholic content in your body distorts judgement. you do things you normally would find wierd, even wrong. people commit suicide, have premarital sex, or even steal. people who we normally think are responsible can turn scary, and even the most meek can suddenly find courage to do the unspeakable.
it can give you strength, or it can take that strength away.
it can cause us to be the most vulnerable and lose our wisdom. we lose the fight with ourselves, we lose our will power, our control over ourselves. we lose the good fight, we lose our cause. all care is thrown aside, and suddenly everything seems so far away. we seemed to be promised no responsibility for our actions and we can do anything we want to, anything possible.
if it ever existed in your subconcoius or your friend ever said it in passing, you'll probabaly do it. no questions, consequences, or second thoughts.
it's that scary.
taking the odd beer or two in your own home once ina blue moon is fine. we all have evnts we need to celebrate. but if you're addicted, then you really need help.
but personally i think that if you drink just one beer with your family you're fine.
ok now here's something IMPORTANT:
THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY IS COMING UP!
TGIF for short, this exclusive Good Friday party will give you more than just reason to relax. It'll let you celebrate Jesus, the king of Kings! Packed with joy, peace and lots of harmless fun, you will be eager to know more about the person we're celebrating! PLus door gifts and tasty food! drop something in the chatbox or simply email me to get a place. there's only 30 places i think!
p.s. It's on private property, three storeys!
ok i've finished the zesty advert, so i'm returning to typing normal stuff. school still on monday, it'll make it go away on tuesday :D
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
13032010
SATURDAY
STREET 81
DEEP COLD SAPPHIRE.
i really need to move on.
i don't know if its the lack of sleep or bad dreams. but i guess you can say both.
i went to the Singapore Sports School today. it was a fulfilling experience, and sure i got 20 dollars and CIP points, but i guess the one thing i could take back is not what they had to offer when signed up.
i guess the real thing i took back was that people can see who you really are no matter how much you fake.
i was in the control room of the swim events today, so i guess i worked with alot of the people actually running the thing. they're are all older, some 20plus (HI TILLYSON), others 40 over (HI NORMAN AND AUNDREA!), but i guess that they all said i looked pretty tired.coming from people older i guess is their way of asking is everything all right, cos they didnt mean sleep, they meant like "dear, is everything all right? you need time out?" for people i've never met before in my entire life, its like another wake up call.
met Tiffany from 2BN! she's a nice buddy, and quite chatty too. so the five of us: Norman - our IC, Tillyson - our welfare IC, Aundrea - Water Polo IC and running IC, me and Tiffany, were constantly cracking up the whole of the control room. did stuff like sort out medals and paste, copy results, plus got to see how the meet is run in logistics, announcements, planning. really hectic at times, but i had a blast of a time. i convinced myself i was really happy,until i got onto 969 at Woodlands interchange.
then i started to cry.
i dont know how i started, or the real reason why. but i do know that during the meet i saw faces that reminded me of everyone that i wanted to avoid. i kept noticing people who looked like Daryl, people like Basil, some of the China guys looked really like Hengkang. Especially the three of them because i went swimming and Wild Wild Wet with Daryl alot of times, Basil once, Hengkang bedok swimming complex a couple.
its like life just threw back at me all the problems i left it. to deal with, and i'm just taking it back all at one go. and i think i was staggering under the weight.
but maybe i've just got to deal with them before life decides for me again.
some photos of the school:
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
12032010
FRIDAY
12:40
SWEET POISON
funny, how testing for poison used to be so simple. the tester would roll the drink or food in the mouth, and if a thin, dry, bitter taste was detected, it was deemed unfit.
now, poison sometimes is so sweet, so slow, that you could have consumed it for 5 months then find out you're dying in two weeks.
and some poisons dont kill you, they just maim you enough to be dysfunctional.
and maybe it's poison i'm having right now.
keep having this feeling that the class is just like a piece of rice paper, any drop of doubt, or stress, will easily tear the fabric of harmony. it is so thin right now, that you thread more carefully on it than a tight rope. and people are still chipping out the edges, sanding them, making it even thinner.
in fact you could say i was walking on a newly sharpened knife blade. with every step i slice my own flesh, and blood flows anew. and with every step the knife cuts deeper, and the tendons and nerves are lost, until finally i lose my whole leg or life.
losing a leg can be like losing a good friend. losing my life, well the whole class ends on a bad note with each other.
i should think carefully before i walk.
ok, happier things. :)
i've got to reach CCHMS at 7am for this singapore sports school swimming meet, and apparently they give you $10 for each session. i do two sessions, so that'll be $20 bucks.
really trying to save money, cos i realized i've been spending too much lately. so i hope that tomorrow God will bless everything to go well and that mom does not kill me before i put in my $20.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
12032010
WEDNESDAY
STREET 81
THE BIGGEST PRESENT.
note: i do not have all the time to write about every present and blessing, so i have chosen a select few. those i havent mentioned, dont be offended, because i probably love yours too much to let anyone else know. ;)
(1):
ok, HENGKANG called.
he was planning to call on sunday, cos we always kept contact through email instead. one of the more interestng ones:
what is the topic in english there? It is greek drama, novel and Shakespeare here!! Damn it, the three things i hate!!
My best score here is 82 for vocab, the rest are borderline passes
congrats for your pass!!
i miss the mac spicy in singapore, the burgers here are nothing compared to that, the cheese here taste very weird, like butter dipped in lemon juice.
the subjects here other than english and history is nothing, any idiot in your class can get A1 here.
We do celebrate CNY here, there are plenty of chinese here.
What about bercury, is he still bald?
The new laptop is from ASUS, K40IN series, Duo P8800 CPU and other specs i dont care about, but goodenough for my new game: Assassin's creed, it is a cpu killer, it's requirement are ridiculously high, even with the new laptop here, only at minimal graphic settings can the game run quite smoothly.
Ok, thank you for the encouragements, same things to you, work hard, do your best to pass language and humanities, excel in maths and science.
Good luck!
so that's a little tidbit. god, he will kill me if he found out i've put this rant here.
now the call. he couldnt get his dad to lend him the phone on sunday, so he just called today. his voice has become much more westernised. i smsed him i was free in the middle of his sleep, so he just jumped up and called. dozing off in the call and hard to understand his mumbling after so long, so i had mercy and let him off after five minutes. so that conculdes my latest birthday present so far.
(2):
Xiao yee brought me and emilyn to eat Japanese tepanyaki, and then went to tcc to chat for a while. it's not like a big hype, but it was the act of just sitting together to talk once in a while that makes it kind of touching. that and the fact that it was for your birthday. great pics are on facebook, and i've got a tcc personality book for fun.
(3):
Hui Shan and Huimin's presents! i shall not tell the world here, but thank you so so so much! and i tell you Huimin, your birthday i will give you spa voucher kay?
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
09032010
TUESDAY
STREET 81
BIRTHDAY POST.
okay people, finally home so i'm posting! yay!
okay, i know a few people who want a run through of today!
06:10 WOKE UP LATE.
mom forgot the alarm
07:20 FLAG RAISING.
didnt have pins and hairband so nearly caught. also forgot name tag.
08:00 EHISTORY EXAM
suddenly talked about Stalin in Hitler. so canceled the answer and started again.
08:30 IVAN COMES
realized i forgot to tell him what time the flag raising finished. so he came late for test.
08:45 TEST ENDS
Mr soon stopped me to say happy birthday. presents form Huimin and Hui Shan. plus big hug form Yvon :D
09:00 EHISTORY LESSON
day getting better. had a few laughs about Mr Yazeed's impressive acting skills. didnt know he could impersonate a Japanese soldier that well. he claims its years of talking to sarcastic students.
10:00 CHEMISTRY LESSON
teach alcohol today, and digressed to drinking beer. Mr Lam reveals that his ex tried to commit suicide once, and the first time he drank he got drunk plus and stomach inflammation from the speed of drinking. talked about the effects, and he warned us against it.
11:00 RECESS
studied abit of circles and vectors for maths paper and had a small chat about the internship presentation.
11:30 MATHS EXAM
skipped whole of a 7mark question. but thank God for vectors. and graphs though i thought i got that one wrong.
12:30 SS LECTURE
lecture hall, sat behind Ivan to keep kicking his chair. and i found that chairs do groan.
13:30 AMATHS LESSON
Mr Lee helped with a few of mine disastrous vector questions.
14:30 LUNCH
the class had two cakes! one for belinda and one for me. cut and distributed a small piece each, just enough. Gavril tried to put cake on me, but failed terribly. Ivan flipped Qien over two desks for stealing his cake. Qien had a bruised shoulder and say there with ice on his shoulder for half an hour. then had a packed lunch in classroom.
16:00 CHINESE THINGY
finished in two minutes and slept for ten while the rest in the classroom did it.
16:20 ON BUS 197
with huimin and huishan. yvon and CK at the back.
17:00 ON BUS 69
saw yvon and eunice. top deck talking about eunice's shorter hair. verdict: eunice like her hair really long.
17:20 HOME
i guess that's about it... anymore and the post is going to take up two websites.
but i guess that concludes my day. rather impersonal for me, but the thoughts will have to wait for another day.
Labels: birthday
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
05032010
FRIDAY
MRT TO TANJONG PAGAR
BEFORE THE WORST
he sent me the same song i've been listening to for the past week.
before the worst - the script together with lyrics. guess what he highlighted?
yeah:
Before the worst, before we met
Before our hearts decided it's time to love again
Before too late, before too long
Let's try and take it back before it all went wrong
no prizes for correct guesses, and i guess it's plain why he sent the song. i know it's very clear between us now, but i guess he's going through the same thing as i am.
realizing i've been very selfish, expecting him to give alot when we were together, and now expecting him to just recover too after the breakup. guessing both of us not gonna be normal for a while, huh?
the shop uncle told me that Daryl's probably going to move to a rented flat somewhere in the north part of Tampines. i told the uncle to ask Daryl to stay, because he's still going to St Hilda's, and moving to the north will mean space, yes, but he will have to wake up real early to go school. and believe me, he cannot, simply because he's used to waking up half an hour before bell rings than making the 500m walk ten minutes before flagraising.
and i should stop remembering these small details about him. it will only keep replaying if i still remember.
just like that jesse macartney song IT'S OVER, where he tries to erase his girlfriend from his mind but still fails even with the machine.
i guess no level of technology can replace humanity. that's what makes us human, and why forgetfulness is so scorned. it's like living the time out, but the time ts wasted. like i said, i dont regret the memories, just that the memories have turned sour now. and it takes sweet in my mouth, and bitter in my stomach.
i hope God will finish playing the movie quickly and then turn the damn auto-replay off.
it's killing me.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
04032010
THURSDAY
STREET 81
I CAN'T SLEEP.
the day's getting closer. my birthday i mean.
and i still remember a time when i looked forward to it. and time was only last year.
so many things that he said, all the little little mannerisms he had, all his pet peeves, his favourites, everything. everytime i look at a clock, a calender, even opening my eyes, a flood of painful memories fill my living space. every where i walk, i see events replaying. us still standing at the corner, arms locked, looking at each other. the pet shop downstairs where we would fuss about the 3 cute dogs and the cat, playing with them, holding hands. the same seats on 29 that we used to sit after we quarrel, fuming, writing little notes about our feelings to each other. the karaoke sessions with FIFteen, the duets, the fruit punch game. so many painful things, and they multiply as the day gets nearer, every smile or tear seems to be magnified.
i dont know how to last any longer. i keep praying that God will remove my insanity, and turn me back again. but at least God has told me that Pain os for growth, and He will be with me through whatever pain. the bible verse He gave:
"Then I would still have this consolation— my joy in unrelenting pain— that I had not denied the words of the Holy One."
Job 6: 10
i know that pain is to make me stronger, but even Jesus cried for God to take this cup away from Him. but i will be strong in him and i will continue to pray.
and i need to say thank you to all the people who are concerned for me, or who have asked if i'm ok. i'm fine, really. and i wont do anything stupid or disappear somewhere, i'll still be leading a fufilling life.
and trying to go get some sleep. record: 3 days. i really need some now.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
03032010
WEDNESDAY
STREET 81
NO TEARS LEFT.
been crying too much these few days, and feeling incredibly down. so down i even surprised myself by suddenly being asked why i'm so emo.
but it's becoming a tiring pattern: happy one second, then a quiet, hard look, people stop talking to you, and you have these scary, haunting thoughts coming to you, and all your memories start to remind you of all the things in your life you dont regret but wish you could forget.
on the topic of regret, i must say that i really don't regret whatever i did in my life, because i believe that God will put it to use. it might not have been a good decision, or even a right one, but i know that the decision will have a lifelong imprint on me, and that it has helped me become the person i am. the relationship is only one small part, there are other parts: the gang, the friends i made and lost, the family i had and have.
i remember someone telling me that i'm just having withdrawal symptoms. i told her if it wasnt just the recent events, most of it is, but it is also realisation of my own recklessness and pseudo bravado that is coming back. it's like a pickpocket whose gotten on bail for too many petty crimes and finally getting the big ten years of his life. a sudden rush of fear and helplessness. a uncomfortable vulnerability.
THE SCRIPT - TALK YOU DOWN:
"Just a cigarette gone
No you couldn't' be that far
So I'm driving in my car where I hope you are
Maybe I can talk you down
Maybe I can talk you down
We're standing on a tiny ledge
Before this goes over the edge
Gonna use my heart and not my head
and try to open up your eyes
This is relationship suicide
Cos if you go, I go..."
maybe certain people are just much more truthful to the world than others. maybe certain people are just more sensitive.
i don't know. but i know that i really have no tears left to cry, and believe me, that feeling is worse than crying.
serious.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
01032010
MONDAY
MACDONALD'S AT STREET 81
ABLE TO WAIT.
lyrics from THE SCRIPT:
Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
saying, "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"
Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you
Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving
Policeman says, "son you can't stay here"
I said, "there's someone I'm waiting for If it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go
Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,
I'm not moving, I'm not moving
People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world
Maybe i'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
Maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
cause you'll know it's just for you
Im the man who can't be moved
Chorus 2x
Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move
YES PEOPLE IT'S MY LATEST BLOG SONG, THE ONE YOU'RE LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW...
it's meaningful and it's a dedication. :) really into the script right now, so that will explain the recent lyrics on facebook i hope.
the lyrics really speak to me, and ever since the total break up, i have moved on so much without realising. but i still have so much more to heal, and explain to myself. i just need you to be patient, and when i figure things out myself, i will find you to explain them to you. until that day, there's really no way i can face you. because every time i see you, my heart still does the thing it did. after 3 years it still cant stop.
so i will have to wait for it to stop,even if it will take ten, twenty more years. and i wont be able to love anyone else until then.
and just like the song, i will keep waiting at the corner for it to heal.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
