31082010
TUESDAY
23:28
STREET 81
HAUNTED CHANGI.
i'm probably making a mistake by posting at a time like this, but i realise if i don't do it i'll never go to sleep in peace tonight.
meeting mom at 1330 Dover MRT to give blood to Sam. just realised i'm nervous beyond comment. i've never had a problem with blood, but i guess this will be my first test to see something more than a fracture. the car accident didnt count - i was across the road so i didnt really see anything.
meeting wei feng for breakfast and movie at AMK hub at 1000, wanting to watch step up 3 but it's 1500 :( also meeting Belinda at Bedok Library at 1430, gonna bring my computer and books.
currently saving up for Haunted Changi, but also trying to stop the river of memories. kind of like looking at an abandoned photo collection, but you realise halfway through with horror that you're looking at your old self. or someone else can come up with a better description of the feeling; i dont really care. the previous trips to OCH weren't scary, just that the things we saw were plain sad. it's just intriguing for me to see this film, and to think of how people's reactions to the same things can be so varied. or that some actually scoff it.
regardless, it's impossible to go back anymore with patrols and cleaners there. they want to spruce up the place but i know those who "live there" like it the way they have seen it become over the years - their own little piece of history stuck in time, on a constant day-night replay.
i remember the "owners" with an air of longing. they are like long-lost friends, so easy to talk to and never critical of life. they have had their share of it, all they want to do is to protect their own little pocket of memories. some openly preach death, some shy away from any personal aspect, and a rare number strut their life moments like a movie for all to see. they are a carefree bunch not bound by our laws, but bound to their own unfilled hearts to this place they can never leave. they are the best afternoon companions, not because they can keep secrets, but because they offer sincere solace.
long ramble about the past, i wonder if he is thinking his holiday away too. reminds me of this:
"For her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead."PROVERBS 2:18
Deviant art has a website problem, so this picture is from Flickr. enjoy.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
25082010
WEDNESDAY
10:56
BEDOK LIBRARY
AUSTRALIAN.
yeps, emails coming in (:
thanks god for inter-continental friends. they not only encourage you, but you can help them too. best part is, you dont have to be there but you still know they are your real friends.
spending the morning studying at bedok libray, then busing to parkway to get books for Huiru, then Chinatown to get my phone. may need to borrow money,, but i guess it's worth it.
PHILIPPIANS 4:13I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME.
doing one card to bless minyi every week of exam. hope to be there with her mentally and spiritually if i cant be there physically.
Labels: my God is good to me., peace and joy
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
23082010
MONDAY
18:03
CLARKE QUAY
SEVENTEEN
they 16 is the legal age to be doing everything you are already doing right now. or that 17 is worse, because you have more responsibilities than 16, and less fun than 18.
people look forward to getting older when they are younger, only to feel disappointed that when you're older, you're not necessary more happy and free than when you were younger. in fact, being younger probably brought more joy and pleasant memories. just ask anyone over 50. they'll say, "When I was young..."
nobody says, "Man, when i GOT old..." it's just unwritten. and probably because it just reminds you that you ARE old.
went to Love The World bar and bistro. it's at the Singapore Flyer, on the second floor. cosy bar, nice drinks too. tried the Singapore Sling and Blue Heaven, ordered a Earl Grey myself. jamming free on Sundays, 3pm onwards, just call for booking beforehand so timings don't clash. but we got to bring friends to crop up the audience, and pay for the drinks and food. but it's alright because you just have to tell people you have a live gig and people can come. great ambiance too, plus it's a Christian place.
lost my phone, dammit. on Friday, pouring with lightning and all. took a bus to school, then took back to the bus stop to find the phone. then real late for school, but i still didn't find it. God, I've lost everyone contacts - including those REALLY important ones and every thing's with the phone. but thank God's the phone's locked, though the password is quite dumb. i think anyone can guess it on the first go. but I've gotten a new SIM card on Sunday, just phone less until Wednesday, when i buy a new phone from Chinatown. pity i only have a budget of $100, what can i get with this amount? anything with a camera, music or online function and has keypad buttons? probably not on my life.
Australia voted for a new Prime Minister just yesterday, different political situation, yeah. HK dropped me an email, a short one on that day itself. missed him by about an hour, pity. but i emailed him a short one and i notice nowadays his replies are quite short.
getting late, lots of people walking about now. don't feel like going home, but i don't have a choice, do i? call it reluctant or ungrateful, but i feel less important at home than out in school. and you haven't heard the things they say in school yet.
Labels: when are you coming back?
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
16082010
MONDAY
21:44
STREET 81
NOT LIKE THE MOVIES ♥
TODAY'S POST IS MULTILINGUAL.
[POLISH]
Pastel gry jest naprawdę ładne stronie, wykonane przez polskich artystów i animatorów. Wszystkie są prawdziwe talenty i są bardzo skuteczne w obu gier flash i Iphone. go sprawdzić ich stronie tutaj, linki w pasku bocznym! Sprawdź Mateusza Skutnika szczególności, naprawdę wyjątkowy i twórcy serii Submachine Daymare Town.
lub można też kliknąć tutaj link do Pastel gry.
[FRENCH]
Demain est un examen important oral, je suis vraiment nerveux. Dans l'espoir de passer le test et il ne sera pas facile. professeur d'anglais a des attentes élevées, il ne devrait pas être trop déçu.
[ITALIAN]
Il ristorante è di prossima apertura. Spero di andare lì e mangiare a pranzo con mia sorella, un pomeriggio, quando abbiamo tempo. il cibo è delizioso e il capo è davvero amichevole. Il posto è molto tranquillo e piacevole. Mi auguro che non devono aspettare troppo a lungo.
[GERMAN]
Ich habe ein Praxis-Test an diesem Samstag, es ist wirklich wichtig, und ich kann nicht leisten, sie zu vermissen. zahlreiche Veranstaltungen geplant in dieser Woche. Ich habe alles unter Kontrolle, um Kollisionen zu vermeiden. Besuch der Aufführung am Samstag, hoffe auch, um die Zeit zu haben.
Labels: love... has no boundaries 爱， 无限
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
12082010
THURSDAY
21:20
STREET 81
DECEMBER PLANS.
yeah, my December and November plans.
November first, then.
~ to work at the clinic for a full two weeks, or somewhere I've worked before for at least half a month to really see what it's like.
~ to save up to $200 for at least a month. this is for me to practice self-control.
~ learn level 2 street cha cha. i want to learn the dance seriously, out of passion more than anything else.
~ clean up my wardrobe and let my hair grow. gotta stick to one look i like, the old me.
~ get clean pictures of Changi Village and the Kellong for keepsakes, and to put all my pictures into a professional portfolio.
~ Learn sign language, and watch four more movies to finish my 10 movie list.
December's list:
~ one oversea trip, outside of Malaysia, possibly the mission trip with cell group. or diving at Thailand! MUST MUST.
~ participate in next year's Chingay parade as a performer!
~ learn sign language. $60, start saving.
~ earn $250 from jobs or tuition.
~ give blood. i want to save three people before i end the year.
~ give Joey, Rachel and Chrystal Christmas presents from my own money.
~ pick HK at the airport, no matter how late, or I'll never forgive myself. and then show him Tampines and Bedok all over again, before eating at Changi Village. then we go do what ever he wants to for 3 days. and i HAVE got to drag him to church. it may be my only chance. THIS ONE IS THE ABSOLUTE. I HAVE TO DO THIS.
RANT
fuck you! yes I'm using strong language here! i don't want any of your bloody explanations, you can save them for yourself. what do you mean you're that way? hell yeah, you're that way cause you chose to be! it's always a conscious effort to be someone significant, but don't be someone infamous! you are worth so much more than that! don't do this to yourself! wake up! the deadline is near! people hang on because of you! don't give up! if you do, you will be shocked and regretful due to the number of people who follow your lead! never underestimate your influence, and use it for good. you never know when the next thing you say or do for good of others will save their life or mind.
ever feel so pent up you wanna punch something, anything in front of you?advice: don't cause it hurts you and it didn't do any good to anyone. plus the bruises stick around afterwards. try screaming (in your bedroom only!) or try exercise. NEVER cut or binge-eat, that's a vicious cycle.
but who am i to say that? i'm just waiting for December anyway.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
09082010
MONDAY
20:10 (!)
STREET 81
TWICE.
yes, today the title is huge. twice as huge in fact (:
been itching to write the whole day, finished a song (finally!) but the Internet has been congested due to the fact this is the last holiday before the serious study period of the o-levels.
NDP is on all 5 of Singapore's home-based channels, and all around me i can hear people playing past National Day theme songs. Taufik Batisah has got a goatee, and this year they got a high-pitched singer to sing the theme song so far out, i can only use a whistle to keep to tune.
twice has alot of meaning for today.
firstly, twice the holiday we students had compared to last year. yes, tomorrow's a holiday too. but that doesn't mean we have more free time.
twice the amount of Chinese revision i have managed to complete compared to the past, what, three years of my life? yeah, sometimes getting carried away with your impulses is scary.
this year is HK's second year celebrating 9th of august in Australia, the joke is that he has managed to have twice of the long holiday he hoped for. he wished once to have a year-long holiday, i guess he got too much out of it. that, plus the fact that he still calls the migration a "holiday", spells out he's not taking the homesickness too well this year.
twice as tied to social networking sites: I've been dragged to Twitter. you can find me HERE. and I'm only there because people are there. :/
lastly, the date is repeated twice! :D
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
07082010
SATURDAY
10:34
STREET 81
MOOD SWINGS.
mood swings all through the week.
went to watch THE LAST AIRBENDER: LEGEND OF AANG at Kallang Leisure Park yesterday. Felt cheated cause it was just book one, but it was good nonetheless. i still owe Daniel a dollar for my ticket though. round-up of who went:
Ivan, Szu Yuan, Eugene, Daryl, Rong Da, Wen Bin, Nigel, Eunice, Claire, Hui Shan, Hui Min, Iris, Huiru, Daniel and Me.
kept my distance from Ivan yesterday, he's in a bad mood too. Gavril and Qien pulled out at the last minute, and Zhang yang, Yvonne and Belinda opted out early.
decided to forgo my promise to sit beside him in the movie, pulled Huiru to sit beside me when she came later. anyway, I doubt he would have the guts to get up in front of our class, cross three rows and sit down beside me without eliciting rumors. he just cares too much about what people think.
should just snap out of my bad mood, but it's like a snake spiral. i start at the top all over again, to find myself helplessly sliding to the bottom.
~悬崖靳马：比喻临到危险的边缘即使清醒回头。
~掩耳盗铃：比喻不能欺骗被人，只能欺骗自己。
~装聋作哑：假装没听见，不出声。指故意不理，装作不知道。
黄主任要考成语250，学着学着，觉得上面三个成语最适合形容我现在的心情了。上次听写，差一个字就100分，所以这次要努力，一定要吃到老师请的冰淇淋。顺便给品德一点脸色看。
using an old label to remind me of the better times.
Labels: i will love again, whether or not its you.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
05082010
THURSDAY
19:01
STREET 81
DEADLINE.
[Chorus]
Do you know what it feels like
Loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away
(Do you know [x3])
Do you know what it feels like
To be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed
Do you know, [x4]
Birds, flying south is a sign of changes,
At least you can predict this every year
Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly,
I can't get her to speak.
Maybe if I knew all the things that took to save us.
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
The look in your eyes don't say the same about me,
I'm standing on the edge and I don't know what else to give
[Chorus]
Do you know what it feels like,
Loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away
(Do you know [x3])
Do you know what it feels like,
To be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed
Do you know [x4]
How can I love you? [x4]
If you just don't talk to me, babes.
I flow through my head,
Is the question is she needing,
Another side of a man I cannot be
Looking at the last 3 years like I did,
I could never see us ending like this.
(Do you know)
Seeing your face no more on my pillow,
Is the scene I said never happened to me.
(Do you know)
But after this episode I now see,
You could never tell how the next day life could be
[Chorus]
Do you know what it feels like,
Loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away
(Do you know [x3])
Do you know what it feels like,
To be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed
ENRIQUE IGLESIAS
can't help but think whether i rush it too.
been out and in mood swings lately, Ivan's fed up with keeping up and he's decided to act like i'm in a perpetual state of happiness. i guess i should be, with school and friends. my grades have taken a quantum leap from Mid-year. gonna get my 10 points :)
i cant help but thank God that he's put all of my classmates in 4EMPATHY by divine intelligence, everyone of them has helped me to grow and I've helped them too. they are really God-sent angels, only they don't know it yet.
National Day celebration is tomorrow, class outing too. oh, and i'll try to keep myself from crashing on Ivan before then. God bless him.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
02082010
MONDAY
20:51
STREET 81
SOMEBODY'S ME.
the title is from the song Somebody's Me by Enrique Iglesias.
Cause I, I walk the streets alone
I hate being on my own
And everyone can see that I really fell
And I'm going through hell
You will always be in my life even if I'm not in your life
Cause you're in my memory
You, will you remember me?
And before you set me free, oh, listen please
Somebody wants you
somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breathe
without you it's lonely
Somebody hopes that someday you will see
Somebody's me, that somebody's me
That somebody's me
that somebody's me, oh, yeah
sentimental song, about a guy crushing on a taken girl. that's not all of it, just the two most meaningful verses and the chorus.
just off a 45 min call to HK, any further it felt like i was boring him. but maybe when you really miss it, even the most simple details become a blessing. like he asked what i had for lunch, and i said Japanese. i was surprised even that interested him, cause he went on to ask where and what i ate. i guess the novelty for Western wears off if that's the only thing you ever eat.
feel that all i talk about is the o-levels and school, and he only talks about his school and results. his dad is still a sensitive topic, and anything about friends just threads lightly around Mon Hsien. poor guy, still not over the loss of his best bud. and he is just not sure whether people in Singapore will welcome him in CCHMS, talks about "i don't dare to set foot in front of those angry people" and such. maybe he's gotta forgive himself before his buddies can forgive him.
but other than that, i guess we have a lot of catching up to do anyway when he comes back in December. just that friendship is easier to repair when you can have an actual face-to-face conversation. sometimes not looking at a person for too long can cause the picture of him in your mind to blur until he becomes a collage of your own memory. plus two years changed me drastically, it would have changed him too, for better or for worse.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
