27112011
SUNDAY
01:08
STREET 81
TWISTS OF FATE.
Let's go!
[Oh Land - Chorus]
Oh when the day is gone
Oh when the nights are long
Life goes on
Life goes on
We gotta live it up til it's gone
Cuz we won't be around too long
Life goes on
Life goes on
[Travie McCoy]
Lately it seems the good dreams are few and far between
Nightmares are putting fires out with gasoline
And I'm just tryna stay rightous
Sometimes I see my own face in Christ's likeness
And apart from my life's vices, fifteen years young had my first mid-life crisis
But it's tough to stay up right empire from people you hold high speeding up the most buyers
My daddy told me misery loves company
If that's the case they must hating they ain't getting none from me
I don't sweat it, they set better in my DNA
I got a good heart, and bad braids be a man
[Travie McCoy]
Up late, Facebook, and playing "Could've Been"
Starin at an empty bed my ex girl should've been in
Thinking what I woulda done different
Not a damn thing cuz finally i'm done with it
Besides I got a girl that adores me
And I never take for granted all things she does for me
I shoot the moon down and put it on a wedding band
Then they see the songs of mine too, cause she's an Otis Redding fan
And she'll never forget it man,
Cuz she knows she'll never find a better man
Let's go ahead with these wedding plans
Come on, let's sing a song life goes on
[Bridge]
You take too much for granted
I just can't understand it
We don't ask, we demand it
He been trying not to panic
it near the end of another year. not long ago, i was blogging about my dreams and hope for this year. well, this post was about all the unexpected things this year.
first mention is for the friends. i wouldn't imagine myself to be surrounded with close friends in school. i haven't been the one to hang out after school, but I'm glad they gave me a chance. going to poly has taught me how to interact with others better, rather than sitting in my own shell and waiting for others to approach me. moving on from here: i want to learn and grow as a person, and become a better friend.
second mention is for the jobs. i have worked so many jobs this year: photographer, ticketing officer, sales, tour guide, data entry, medic, DIY artist. but the best and dream job was this whole eventful year with Welcome the World, MCYS.
they provided me with once in a lifetime opportunities - media passes and insider events. this job taught me the behind-the-scenes life of someone working media or media relations in any event; they truly are unsung heroes. i acquired more cameras to suit the job, and learnt from my mistakes along the way. i met many professionals who taught me valuable things, and many people who changed my life and shaped my photographing character. i learnt, personally, that it's okay to be different and new, to be active, to fight for your angle, to have my own view on the matter and to sell myself so that the right people remember me. moving on from here: i want to try another scope of photography - nature and wildlife photography, or studio photography. i want to be able to set up my own business and print my own name cards. i want to win competitions and get more diverse credits. most importantly, i want to continue to love my place behind the lens.
third mention is for the people i have reconnected with this year. they made this year special, because they form some of the most precious things of life: life-long friends. they comforted me when life got tough and shared with my joys. even mundane things can be shared and celebrated with them. moving on from here: i want to remember all the things we shared forever, and i want to be able to just appreciate this thing we have. this sweet fragile, precious thing.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
14112011
MONDAY
22:19
STREET 81
HURTS.
when people come together, they give and they get. not everyone deserves what they get, and not everyone gives as much as they should. but in the and we all grow and help each other along, knowingly or unwittingly.
every time you let someone near you, you risk yourself being hurt.
today is not a good day to begin with. woke up feeling so tired physically and mentally, and my whole body just ached all over. my knees and thighs are sore and swollen, and my right hand is cramped and tense the whole day. my body also agreed not to coordinate today, so i kept tripping over myself.
then couldn't print anything at home due to shitty printer, haven't finish report due today (finished it one hour before the dateline) and crash studied for tutorial class. didn't have enough money for my own bus fare (bus uncle called me stupid for not checking beforehand and refuse to issue ticket ): ) standing up and knocking my head on all the poles in 969 because i was falling asleep. finally reached Katib without falling apart, and when i reached the platform the train just left. one ungrateful woman blatantly tried to push me out of the train after i let her in first so she could sms (she used he hand and pushed, and one kind soul grabbed me back in in time. she even ignored all the stares of everyone else.)
then it started to get better
at least i know it can only get better.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
06112011
SUNDAY
01:51
STREET 81
CLARITY.
the night always brings some clarity that the busy day eclipses.
my new psp in coming in 3 days!!!
*commence countdown with drum roll*
this week has been a fulfilling week: revision, school, friends, flag day, painted my nails purple, made some money, did some ushering. slow week that got faster and more packed as it went, but it's been a fine one.
feeling really blessed and ministered through doing devotions this week. i thought God would just give me a verse and a sweet short something to sms out, and it'll be like a daily kinda thing. i didn't expect what i would get. every time i asked God for a word, he gives me a sermon of His thoughts. i have long smses that i try to shorten. it's really amazing how everything reaches a clarity and coherence when He speaks to your heart. through the daily devotions, he has convicted me of many things in my life i need to be aware of, and He really gives me joy.
since the start of the second semester, people who i don't know personally keep asking me whether i have a boyfriend. when i reply that i want to focus on studying now and be a student, they all say that life is about having fun and getting to know people. when i say that comes later in life, they say i'm chicken.
well, yeah, i think that life is about fun, and getting to know people. BUT, life is not about being immature, and playing around with people's feelings. Any relationship should begin with an end in mind: marriage. i don't want to stumble around and hurt, then realize that's not the way it should be. been there, not going back again.
i've had enough of people not being serious with relationships. for Pete's sake, it's love and emotion we're talking about! not the latest iPhone or your crush of the month. it's someone's soul and heart. that person is just like you. if someone wasn't ready / serious / didn't want to lose out, and played you intentionally/unintentionally, you know you'll want to rip that person's guts out. so will the person you play your love games with.
call me chicken. call me insecure or scared. i know i'm not ready, and i'm not looking for one right now. you have a right to your own heart, so if you think you are ready and mature enough, i wish you happiness and blessing in all your relationships, and that you find true and real joy. and if you know you're not ready, i beg you not to hurt another fellow human being. please.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
00:00
05112011
FRIDAY
STREET 81
HALLELUJAH.
HALLELUJAH - SHREK SOUNDTRACK
I’ve heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music do you?
i am not what i show you.It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled King composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Maybe I’ve been here before
I know this room, I’ve walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
There was a time when you let me know
What’s real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you
The Holy Dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Maybe there’s a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And it’s not a cry you can hear at night
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
heard this song during the first movie, reminded of it recently. it's a beautiful song by a broken hearted man. it's a hymn of pained love, and of psalm of lament with King David references. sweet simple song.
been listening to Connie Talbot, and man, every time she sings "Somewhere over the Rainbow" it's touching. she's come a long way since appearing on Britain's got talent at age 6. now she's 10, has three sold-out albums, and has a fourth album in the oven. still posts awesome covers on YouTube, worth a subscription.
you know, every time i blog, i try to make the posts light hearted and interesting. i want people to read and come back again the next time i post. i want them to think about their own lives and their friends and themselves.
this time, I'm going to post what i want to say.
life is not as great as i tell myself. i make mistakes and i screw up. sometimes badly, other times just bad enough to ruin my day. i will smile at you and joke with you, but the truth is you may have already irritated me and i feel like punching you. i think that true friends are really hard to find, and i don't trust easy, but if you're my friend, i can lay may life down for you. i am lazy, i don't bother to dress up and i hate taking pictures of myself even if I'm a photographer.
i think that the work i do is and forever will be under-recognized, and that i should make money than people think i deserve. i am far from perfect, but i am bold, and loud. if you do me wrong, i won't hold it against you, but i will make sure i don't fall for the same trick twice.
i think anything i can make is not worth buying, especially jewelery and shirts. i am critical of other's people artwork (if it's other things i don't really have any opinion) so if you impress me,it means i can't make it or i really think you are talent. i will rather buy blank, single color clothes and design them myself than go shop. i love wearing my own designs, be it shoes or jewellery. i dislike myself in glasses and skirts. i think tan tops are the most useful clothing ever invented, because they go with everything.
i hate dreaming, unless i cannot help it. i have more nightmares than good ones. i would rather make myself so tired that i can't dream. i remember more of my dreams than i want to, and they scare me when i wake up. i like the feeling of staying up all night and being touched with a feeling of surrealism where your mind just floats around the whole day. I'm angry at myself more times than i care to admit, and when I'm angry i feel like punching something or doing something dangerous.
i love English bands, and i listen to the occasional Chinese song to remember. i think songs are a sea of music to get lost in, and the lyrics mean a lot to me. or if the beats just loud and fun, and brings back wonderful memories, it's cool too. i don't watch TV, and i don't know any popular actors unless i see their face somewhere. Hollywood doesn't interest me, and i think in any movie, all that matters is the story and morals, not how hot the male lead is.
i want to be musically talented, and i want to sing my songs in front of a large crowd someday. but now, i just think my songs are cheesy and shallow, and I'm desperately trying to learn guitar so i can perform them one day. i want to be able to dance too. i took classes and i can move, but i want to sweat, let go and naturally impress people. i want to dance like in the movies, i want to be the girl in sneakers that has a cheerful spring in every move.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
