27072010
TUESDAY
20:04
STREET 81
SWEET PAIN.
they say pain helps you forget sometimes.
but to those who feel the pain, they say that the pain is a drug that reminds you you're not in hell - that you're still alive and hurting.
no, not physical pain. i'm already halfway numb to that, i only go through the motions whenever get into an accident: moan, curse, dress the wound, move on.
i'm talking about the heart. that kind of pain plagues your sleep, your waking hours and everything in between. it doesn't go away, it only leaves you long enough for you to feel better, then comes back in one fell swoop.
the truth is my only escape now. i don't have a choice, because i'm quickly losing my faith in everything else. so i have to believe that the truth is the only thing that can set me free.
i don't know why the pain keeps coming back, stronger and more persistent. it's like a cancer - one of these days i'm going to get a terminal stage and then there is nothing left to fight against. it's like an addiction of the heart, the slightest reminder is enough to rouse it.
i got to learn how to let sleeping TIGERS lie, not chain them to me.
shit, i don't even know if i'm the one chasing it or its chasing me. it's like we're both not running at all, just sitting on a carousel, and waiting for the sweet illusion of movement to end.
the church bells of the Black Plague are already ringing on this one.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
