23072010
FRIDAY
19:47
STREET 81
ALONE TIME.
today is a bad day, where there is a drowning feeling. no matter how much i laughed today, it seems... empty. i feel that kick in my chest, the pain is still as real as ever.
random flash back and pauses throughout the day - when I'm doing Chemistry or Maths and suddenly i have to pause to hold the tears back.
i told you that i wont cry in school. it just isn't worth it. the furthest I'll go is with min yi, but I'm supposed to be strong and there for her. so I'm not going to cry in front of people who don't care enough.
but i also told you i like to be alone. please to feel pathetic being alone is a self-conscious feeling, and it just says that you aren't confident enough to be your own person. what's wrong with eating alone? with watching a movie yourself? our culture teaches us to be with someone else constantly, to find assurance that people won't look just because you're walking/ doing everything together. well, they will look just the same, so learn to live with people looking at you.
but for now i gotta concentrate on getting over this bad day, one thing at a time.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
