04072010
SUNDAY
20:24
STREET 81
SOUL-LESS.
I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE.
reading the highway code, sounds cool. but the best part will be to be able to go anywhere I want without the hassle of public transport.
crying while buying the groceries today, what's new? dayi zhang actually told me to go over his house to stay but I guess I just need some time alone. believe me, in my house, you can be surrounded by family and still be alone. I'm trying to hold it all inside me every time I see my friends, schoolmates, cellies. I cant just let them worry about me any more.
I'm also fed up with myself about the nightmares and missing him. one stupid thought: if I'm not Christian, I don't have to live by God's rules right? which means I can get back right? basically, it's useless thinking about it now, after everything.
IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS. LEAVE MY HEAD ALONE. I DON'T HAVE TO GIVE SHIT ABOUT YOU, SO WHY DO YOU MAKE ME?
I have to get some where I know can take away all the pain. and soon, before I go crazy. really, I am. I haven't got much more time and energy to deal with this any more.
all the thoughts about smoking and drinking (as in getting real drunk to sleep at night) are coming back too. but I'm going to have to stay strong.
if YOU need to know, it's just because my family are too precious to hurt.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
