28022010
SUNDAY
16:57
CHEMISTRY.
ok, I've finally dropped AMATHS. really don't understand it, so i don't see the point.
but dropping it does give me the ability to focus on other things, like my chinese and my chemistry.
so the title of this post is supposed to cheer me up.
maybe not like the whole day, but at least a while.
so... this post is also supposed to be a reply on one of hengkang's questions. here's the question:
DO YOU THINK THERE CAN BE GUY AND GIRL FRIENDS WITHOUT BEING ANYTHING ELSE?JUST FREINDS?
ok, so here's my answer.
YES.
i mean, hengkang and i am, and there's minyi and DK, and there's tons of others in the world. you don't have to demand anything out of a friendship, which makes it more easier to mantain sometimes, and you don't have to pull in the whole BGR thing everytime you be friends with the opposite sex. so, conclusion: yes.
oh, yeah. i nearly forgot.
yes, interested people please sms me. i'm paying for my own, so i really want company. man, if minyi could go. or emilyn. but they can't. so there.
really wishing for my head and heart to get better. but numbing myself is only the short term solution. and i've found out that i've got no more tears left for you. i've tried crying, i've tried eating, i've tried hiding from you. but now i'm going to be brave.
yes, i'm going to be brave.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
19022010
FRIDAY
ON THE MRT TO OUTRAM
ONE LITTLE BIT OF FLAVOUR
both emilyn and me are using computer in the same cabin, but opposite. so we look like twins or really grown up people. maybe like poly students? BIG JOKE.
people arent staring anymore, maybe it's because the night crowd is usually more technology exposed. using super saver to maximise the battery on my com to 2 hours on A MERE 25%. some feat i'm going to perform.
tomorrow's the big day for cantoment road, 'cos we're having best party of all-time. OF ALL TIME. <--see that's where stupid phrases suddenly become useful :) but it's alright, trusty me is serving and there's a hotel buffet! LOL. but we're actually bringing her friends up to the 50th and 26th floor for the view, one party in the evening and one at night. GOD BLESS ME.
but today during the run, came in 42/72, found that actually i'm faster than Belinda! but i think our class did great, because all of us put in alot of effort to perform better than in NAPFA (physical assesment you have to pass to live).
packing up now~ beacause it's Tanjong Pagar and Dayi is making some noise.
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ok. how many of you refeshed? TAG IF YOU DID IT! REMEMBER THE LORD IS WATCHING YOU!
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
15022010
MONDAY
14:04
ONE LIITLE THING TO TRIP YOU.
old blog post left in my computer until now:
15012010
15:08
FRIDAY
today is the second friday of the year and i'm feeling absoulutely rotten. i cant get my head around the stupid thoughts that bounce around on my head. so typing this on the bus hoping to figure things out.
a dozen people looking at me now, maybe jusst not used to people typing on the bus? i mean singapore with all its technology, i still get stared at in all the places i bring a laptop. or are they just jealous? maybe. this happens even in MacDonald's. Hmmm.....
SO HI ALL THE PEOPLE IN 10 THAT ARE TRYING TO READ THIS BEFORE IT'S FINISHED! SHOO.....!
there, now that they are gone, we can CONTINUE.
haha just ranting cos peole are seeing this over the height of the chais in singapore buses, and the privacy screen DOES help. so there.
day's event's:
spot check during emaths lesson, so 8 people were sent to see CCL. mr khoo just walked in after Belinda go confirm whether got spotcheck and he announced okay, everybody stand-up! don't bother to pull up your socks or tuck in shirt now! its too late! but thank god i survived. yay. so the people are: ivan, qien, eugene, wenbin, gavril, jia rong, daryl and rongda. yups alot when your class is small what... so the rest came back after some tekan at the yellow line and ivan got in-house up to an hour later than them. ivan is really pushing his luck. coming during recess then say he come the whole day, just no thumb in... then tio squats and pumping instead of the intended in-house. oh ya, he was wearing a PE shirt too. so that is like breaking three rules at once. PRO.
anyways, nobody in the class seems bothered about him, because its o-level year, then they are all focused on their own things. even ms tan ask me to heck care him, all he cares is about looking good and not his results, sharon don't be so nice to him, blah blah blah...
yeah, people do have alot of things to say about him. maybe, me alone i cannot help him, but i need people to help him. i need people to get interested inhow he does, so that he cares too. or he will be heading for 41 points. hiaz, only hope now: mrs long.
from really long ago.
stuck in the house whole day, with people saying things they really don't mean. and mom is giving more money than the three of us receives.
gave soon a long essay for his new year present on facebook, and this week has only two days of school! you gotta read the last post for why.
yeah, cant do much today.
but still, here it is. love you guys :)
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
14022010
SUNDAY
03:36
THAT STUPID WORD.
HAPPY CHHINESE NEW YEAR.
got this from ivan, grown really close as buddies over the past year. lots of things we can relate to in our lives, so we have a lot to complain and console each other about. plus we help each other to pon school, so... ;)
it's about that blasted word LOVE..? and it's entirely not his work. haha so here goes the prose:
Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you its only seed
It's the soul afraid of dreaming,
That never learns to dance
And the soul afraid of waking,
That never takes the chance
It's the one, who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying,
That never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
When you feel that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose
really sweet, but actually it's like plucked from the depths of the internet. so... whoever wrote this is a real optimistic guy. i have the utmost respect for his mentality.
so it's the first day of Lunar new year.
i bet you hengkang is reading this. so hello from singapore to australia, and don't be sad even though CNY is not really celebrated in down under.
so to make him less homesick (or is it singapore sick, since his he is mainland Chinese? :) ), i shall not talk about going to chinaatown to shop at 1am today, or th scrumptous reunion dinner i hd with 16 people close to me, or all the nice smses i'm getting. :) happy new year big guy. don't miss us :)
stay on the 11th floor of the PINNACLE @ DUXTON, Cantoment Road. yes it's that 50 story HDB flat wwith the sky terrace. went here a couple times, but first time overnighting. so... ya.
ending off but not sleeping, because i have to be up and going at 5. no point sleeping for 2 hours really, just will be more tired. so i'm online. have a good night, all and i'm goin to end here before you sleep while reading this.
oh and there's only two days of school this week, because on Friday it's cross country.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
12022010
FRIDAY
19:23
EMPTY SHELL WALKING.
i feel so vulnerable, just an empty exposed shell.
today was EP reunion lunch at Yuki Yaki, Marina Square with 14 other epathians. people there *drumroll*:
ivan, gavril, claire, hui shan, hui min, rong da, peng bo, nigel, eugene, szu yuan, joel, eunice, iris, zhang yang and me. to say that it was fruitful was an understatement, and i guess though we got pissed off in the process of getting there, i must say that GAVRIL DID A GREAT JOB OF GETTING EVERYBODY TO GEL IN AND LOSEN UP IN THE END. andand we had a great time together.
2 hour buffet with mini competition of how long each of us could go. finalists: ivan, eunice, huimin, and me. i guess because me and ivan were talking half the time, so we were eating slowly compared to them. but both of us can really eat if we want to: polished 6 calfornia rolls each during the last 10 minutes to get our money's worth. not baddddd. :)
i thought the process of getting there brought out the fragility of different people coming together to agree on something. but when we reach the place finally, i know that all of us chose to be nice and stay with each other. and after two or three helpings, the self-conciousness disappeared, thanks to gav too, and we started to be a noisy jovial bunch again. we wont be the same class after this but, we will be that undefutable class once again, reinforced and stronger.
but the part that makes me feel empty, it's the way we so easily criticise our own kind, even though we know that person will not mind.
but it's okay to say that i had a great day today.
but i'm still sick and tired of walking or sitting beside ivan, then someone goes sharon, you and ivan look like brothers lei~ or they will go wah, both of you very compatible lei~. really fed-up with that. maybe we should just say that we're chaste. HAHA BIG JOKE :)
nevermind.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
11022010
THURSDAY
21:37
JUST PLAIN DISAPPOINTED.
suddenly the songs from SIMPLE PLAN speak so loud to me.
today was a really long day. it wasn't as bad a other days, but it left me with a feeling of emptiness, and i asked Jesus where's the happiness you gave me in the morning? down in the pits lately, minyi says it's because I'm making everybody else's problems my own.
but at least what i'm doing is seeing light, cos Ivan finally came to school today.
maybe i think too much of myself, or think too much about what people say when i realise that they themselves do not remember what they've said to me.
so ended near to tears during PE, missed two buses in the morning due to excessive contemplation, sat past the 15 bus stop twice, forgotten string for Claire's hearts and resulting in leaving minyi to eat recess on her own.
finally ended crying in the afternoon after Po called to say Gong is really in a bad condition. sat there at the stairs, with the humdrum of drill calls and chatter from the canteen, and the sound of classical piano tunes. just sat there and cried and cried, just crying with the tears flowing down my face silently. i think Ivan saw.
he was walking with he guys - qien, terry, gavril, the rest - and i thought i saw him through all the tears, make a 180 degree turn, dragging qien. the boys were supposed to go up the flight of stairs i was on, to get a soccer ball i think, and i praise god he tactfully chose another flight of stairs far away.
i think he is the first person in EP to see me crying in school. and maybe he is concerned for me as concern as i am for him too. simple enough, and i guess that's good to know.
Lyrics: snippets i'm using to vent my feelings when the words i use just aren't good enough.
WELCOME TO MY LIFE
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
PERFECT
And now I try hard to make it
I just wanna to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me
cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
10022010
WEDNESDAY
11:31
ONE SMALL REMARK.
OK I'M SELLING MY HANDMADE JEWELLERY OFF.
~ earings(buttons,studs)
$2 a piece. just tell me what kind of backing you want, so i can get them for you. people allergic to nickle, i'm allergic too. so naturally all my jewellery will not contain nickle or will be silver-coated.
~ necklaces (simple one-liners, or with big designs)
$3 bucks. the buckles are adjutable for the big designs. small deisns are one-liners and depending on the value of the beads used.
can't put pictures, cause i'm morbid about plagarism. sorry, too many times to believe the internet community anymore.
BUT I WILL TRY TO WEAR PIeCEs THAT LOOK ALIKE AROUND SO I CAN MODEL THEM OFF. sucess: claire wants two valentine bead hearts :)
but i will sell them below market price, because i dont want to rip my own friends off. but more importantly is that i know the person who gets it will treasure my handicraft and will look after it.
chrystal's in Mount Pleasent Animal hospital, operation sucessful. warded for 3 days, so back after chinese new year. missing her alot. hoping that she is sleeping comfortably in her bed now. may God watch over her, cause she's already so old but still sickness-ridden.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
06022010
SATURDAY
22:31
THE WAY WE SEE THINGS
today is a busy day.
first the Youth Animal Awareness forum. 240 people turnout in Chong Pang CC, and from 2-5 pm, there were alot of interesting questions and concerns raised on the topic of animal welfare.
some were simple, like the issue of pets being allowing in HDB estates and the issue of responsible ownership. others revolved around national issues, like the audicity of monkeys on the rise or the issue of the resort world import of restricted animals. others had an equally great ambition with a wider scope: a dare to stop sharksfin in MP dinners, or the levels of mercury in sharks or feeders up the food chain, leading slightly to AVA and HSA's roles in the areaof stringent checks.
an interesting afternoon, one must conclude. five booths of famous animal activist gruops: two from RGS, one from the Singapore Vegetarian Society, ACRES, and one from the Cat Lover's Association. really fruitful, and mostly because it addressed the concerns of our school in the area of responsible pet ownership and awareness of the public on mercy release.
Yingxin's project group was up there also! one of them was also in GEP in St Hilda's Primary School! haha and i did a video interview for them and it was just weird and funny at the same time. :)
the world is so small.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
04021010
THURSDAY
17:53
THE ECLAIRS HAVE ARRIVED.
OK, you've heard the news. the eclairs have arrived from Jovii's dwelling. and they have passed the taste test from all the people at home, so hoping that the people who eat them tmr will approve, especially mom's friend.
gong's having his eye checkup tmr, at paragon orchard. private i guess, so I'll have to bring him for his operation next week. been staring at the map so id not get lost when we finally get there.
got a 9/15 for geography, really bad because my marks went down, plus i didn't study. so that might explain my disappointment abit.
really pissed off in school, cause my desk mates keep insisting on singing even with bad vocals. i mean you can turn an MP3 player off, but not your friends' mouths, so... be nice Sharon. and I've already tried to get a change of seat.
i mean some days you go to school and they're friendly and warm, and you can share easily. but the next day you go to school after you've rejected their invite to go out the day before, and everyone they have a influence on is asking you about 10 different rumours they made up yesterday. i cant make up my mind to be nice to them or to be plain fed up. maybe i should really tell them it's pissing me off, but i doubt they'll get it. just like the singing, they insist it's not their fault. and when is it then?
sometimes talking to a emotionally more mature person is always better, and that's why i enjoy talking to teachers or the people in charge, because they know what they are doing.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
11:08
TUESDAY
12 DAYS TO CNY
ONLINE IN SCHOOL!
okayee people! first post frm the class of 4EP! woots~ ok since i'm online in school, i might as well start blogging properly.
ok, today's a slack day, though got sent out of class10 minutes ago due to the fact that i didnt complete my chem homework.
oh ya and history play after school, ONE LITTLE STEP, at the library at NLB. so ya end at five people.
see ya!
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
