19:39
WEDNESDAY
i don't know what's wrong with me today. usually i'm perky and loud in school, now i've taken a complete change. i didn't realized i've stopped talking to my classmates, to the extent i got teachers asking me everything ok, Sharon?. i must be really shorting out. i had ivan smsing me to cheer up every few minutes cos he thought i was seething emo-ness, not sadness though. kinda like deep in thought, the kind that blocks up the world until you are in your own box of four by four, and its quiet and calm. really appreciate you trying to make me into the old Sharon again. i'll find her back, i promise.
fifth person after Kristin, Deborah, Cheryl, Sarah and Adeline to say i've been emotional this year. and its only two weeks into 2010. guess i'm seriously affected by what other people do or say, especially after the breakup.
been crying myself to sleep on the bus, just suddenly, quietly, after the laughter stops and my friends are on their own way home. taken to 31 after school, the easiest way to avoid anyone i know, because it's one of the longer trips home. enough time to cry, sleep and wake up still tired from the process. figures i'm tired and breaking down most of the time, cos Zuo Lun had to shake me hard to wake me in 30 this morning. i was looking like i had spent the night under the stars: restless and maxed out. maybe he's right, i'm maxed out. he thinks i've been taking everything to blame for all, like with hengkang and mon hsien. he saidits not your fault both of them left on a bad note. people are leaving everday. we have to get used to it. besides, if mon hsien hide from you, it will be REALLY hard to find him right? yes. he's right, and he's wrong. i believe i will find mon hsien if i believe i can. and i BELIEVE GOD WILL HELP ME.
♥ I'VE GOT HEAVEN ON THE INSIDE OF ME.
peace and joy God has set me free.
peace and joy God has set me free.
