♪♥♫ THE STARS LEAN DOWN TO KISS YOU. ♪♥♫
15122009
TUESDAY
16:56
MRT
TAMPINES TO REDHILL
today is the auditions of Youthnet's got talent, and i still dont know what our group name is. Never mind, finished memorizing my lines, and still trying to make my voice sound teacher like, even though i know i sound like i'm talking to little children the age of four. kinda like talking to my little fans in gkids. who says that teachers usually treat us as 15 and not 4 anyway?
stayed up until 03:45 yesterday to do some packing for camp, and realised before i went to sleep that wednesday was my only free day. and on that
dumb free day, i had to go to hospital cos mum was freaking out about a lump under my armpit.
maybe she has a right to freak out or at least get
concerned(mum's main point) because she said that Aunty Erika had found a lump under her shoulder too, thaen the doctor said it was 2nd degree cancer (cacerina of the mammal glands AKA breast cancer) she had a relaspe after chemotherapy, but she's better now. thank God for the miracleshe does, and i'm sure whatever it is, god will see to it as the best for me.
been thinking after mom said that she was
concerned(nope, i'm still going to highlight it) if i did get cancer, at 15, what am i going to do with my o-levels? would i still tell those friend that i left behind in life about my disease? how about Minyi? if i go with cancer now, she's going to feel alone again. someone left her in primary school, and i'm intending to stick with her, even if we go to different polytechnics(well,at least i am).
how about Hengkang? he told me begore that our friendship her in singapore will one thing that he still hopes to continue, so will i tell him anything? Will i still be able to find Mon Hsien for him? and patch him up with zuo lun and jun yan for them both to leave like that? and eventually, when he comes here for his tertiary education, will i be able to get used to him again? havent seen him in half a year already, still not used to it though. he says i have all the time in the world to, but do i?
maybe i'm just thinking too much, but i need to think about myself, now that i am financially separating from mum. i still havent absorbed the full impact of the card mum gave me, and i still havent fully realised what my experience will get me in the future. but i know it will definately not be a desk job.
now, at lavender station in the mrt, just realised singaporeans still havent gotten used to computers in the mrt. keepgetting people staring at me, or glancing at my screen and wondering why i have been typing from tampines to bugis. and some of them are
trying to read as i go. maybe if i type on the mrt, or public transport, i have to invest in a privacy screen. that and a computer cover. so i have a more respectable-looking computer to show the working world..
daryl called me today at around one in the afternoon, that's how i woke up today. he told me, he had thought about what i had scolded him for when i broke up with him, and he asked me out to lunch on christmas eve. i told him, i have an audition with my cell group today, cant talk now, but christmas eve i had a party. if he could come ot would be a good start to getting to know him again, and then he could come for stomp. he said, why caant we settle it between the both of us without public pressure? i told him, no, its not public pressure, its just that i am inviting him to know my friends. and oh, i said, if he could turn up for my audition today, maybe i will think about just two of us eating lunch, and the audition's at redhill, the one we went before, calll me if you reach. he didnt say whether he was going, but i know he wont turn up, because he wont risk a meeting with my friends. he said he would think about coming, but probably wont be able to make it.
